Well… first the problem lies that we can’t trade him because no one wants him and his monstrosity of a contract he owns. Maybe we could file some propaganda and a disclaimer
stating “We will pay half of his salary!”. That could be one way to go.
Fans, let’s get real. Would you want a guy who is rigged and old on your team? Add in the fact that he is on the DL almost every year and plus he is worth $11.5 million. This isn’t a guy most people want on their team.
And he produces pretty poorly. So Kerry what do we get out of you? I know what you get from us, a heaping amount of cash that sticks out like a sore thumb. Could you possibly lend me a dollar? Or maybe two? Maybe you could uh,… take me out to dinner sometime and pay the bill?
Nah. Yes you did produce in the second half of the year, but you have the hot streak of magma from the earth’s mantle when it comes out of the Mid Ocean Ridge, and it ain’t too long. The mulitude of times you have been on the DL slap you in the face and give you a ‘trade me’ sign on the back of your jersey. Yes dear fans, it is Kerry Wood’s time to leave the Indians. Whether you put a thumbs up or give a thumbs down you know that he has to go. We will praise the team that takes him off of our hands.
Maybe we can sucker the Twins into taking him? Joe Nathan is down. Either way, Kerry Wood you suck eggs!